Shortly after I started my path to femininity, I encountered many blocks and wounds from the past. Knowing and understanding what causes wounded feminine energy helped me to speed up my healing process.
If you started your feminine journey, it’s probable you will encounter these too. You will be forced to revisit your past and heal all that needs to be healed.
I want to share what I’ve learned with you, in the hopes that it will help you on your path.
What causes wounded feminine energy?
Wounded feminine energy is caused by unsafe, traumatic, and/or abusive experiences in our past. These can be emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; neglect; and other types of traumatic experiences.
These events leave an imprint on our psyche, which causes us to distort our view of ourselves, others, and the world. We develop coping mechanisms as a way to protect ourselves from the pain. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms often become our new normal and keep us locked in our wounded state.
Hiding your feminine side is a way how you try to protect yourself. It’s a coping strategy to feel more in control and in power.
Now let’s look at what could be those experiences that made you feel unsafe and therefore hide your femininity.
From my experience and the experiences of people I talk to, I see 4 common causes of wounding:
1) Having a mother or other female role model with wounded feminine energy
The mother-daughter relationship is one of the most important in a woman’s life. If this relationship was wounded, it would have been difficult for you to develop a healthy feminine identity.
Some examples are:
- Being raised in a household where there was little emotion or nurturing shown.
- Being raised by a single-parent mother who couldn’t afford to be in her feminine energy.
- Generational trauma passing in your family from woman to woman.
- Disconnected relationship with your mother.
- Having a mother or other female role model who is emotionally unavailable.
We all have different childhood experiences. Even if you consider your childhood to be “normal”, you may still have some wounding around your femininity.
You heal these wounds by examining your relationships with your mother and other feminine figures. Ask yourself what beliefs around femininity did you form by observing women in your life?
Since releasing this wounding is so important to be able to come into the expression of your authentic femininity, the whole day 1 of the 7-day transformation program is specifically designed to release any wounding that comes from the relationship with the feminine figures in our lives.
2) Experiencing abuse or violence as a woman
Unfortunately, many of us women were exposed to masculine energy that was abusive.
Some examples are:
- Being physically or sexually abused.
- Living in a household with domestic violence.
- Witnessing physical or emotional abuse of women in your family, community, or school.
- Having a partner who is emotionally and/or physically abusive.
These experiences create a lot of fear and anger around our feminine energy. We can feel unsafe and threatened when we start to embody our femininity.
This usually stems from the belief that:
“If I am too open and feminine, I will be hurt again.”
“If I am too vulnerable, people will take advantage of me.”
“I can’t trust anyone, they all just want something from me.”
These are some common beliefs that we develop after being wounded. It’s important to start recognizing these thoughts and begin to challenge them. You deserve to have healthy relationships where you feel safe and loved.
3) Living in a society that values and rewards masculine traits more than feminine ones
From a very young age, we are taught that the masculine traits are more valuable and desirable than feminine ones.
Some examples are:
- Being ridiculed or shamed for being a woman.
- Seeing femininity as weak.
- Telling girls to be quiet and not speak up.
- Having to be strong and not show emotion.
These messages send the message that feminine qualities are not as valuable or important as masculine qualities. We start to believe that there is something wrong with being a woman.
What would it look like if we started honoring and valuing the feminine more?
4) Taking on too many masculine roles in order to survive
Many of us women take on too many masculine roles in order to survive.
Some examples are:
- Having to take on a masculine role in order to survive in a hostile world.
- Any experiences that made you feel like you need to fight for your survival.
- Being the breadwinner for our families.
- War conflicts
- Taking care of others (e.g., parents, partners, children) at the expense of taking care of ourselves.
When we take on too many masculine roles, it can be difficult for us to express our feminine energy. And sometimes we completely disconnect from it. We can forget what it feels like to be in our feminine essence.
These are some of the root causes of wounded feminine energy.
It’s important for us to start recognizing what is happening and begin to heal these wounds.
There are many ways you can start – meditations, writing prompts, therapy, or reading more on the topic.
I personally found very powerful for my healing guided meditations and journal prompts which I share with you in the 7- day transformation program.
When we heal, we can start to experience more joy, love, and aliveness in our lives.
Thank you for reading!
If you are curious what are the steps you can take to start healing your feminine energy, I recommend you read this article next: 10 steps to heal wounded feminine energy.
“For the first time ever, I feel like I understand my femininity. I’d already begun seeing breakthroughs and improvements in my relationships. This program has been a true gift.”