One question that I get asked frequently from women is how do I get comfortable in my femininity.
When I started my feminine journey, I did the mistake of falling for “femininity” gurus, who were teaching mainly how to act and behave feminine.
This approach about how you “should be feminine” didn’t feel right to me at all! Actually, this made me feel very uncomfortable with my femininity.
I don’t want you to do the same mistake. The true feminine journey should feel like becoming more of your authentic self.
How do you get there? How do you truly get comfortable in your femininity?
I am uncomfortable with my femininity. What now?
If you are uncomfortable with your femininity, it is important that you understand what true femininity means. True femininity is about embracing your own unique qualities as a woman.
Femininity is not at all just a set of rules on how to dress or behave. True femininity is unique and different to each and every woman. It is about getting comfortable with your own version of femininity.
Here are a few tips on how to get started:
How do I get comfortable in my femininity?
1) Make your own definition of femininity
2) Don’t chase “feminine ideals”
3) Ditch the idea of “not being feminine enough”
4) Find your own style
5) Reclaim the dark feminine
6) Confidence is key
1. Make your own definition of femininity
Start by making your own definition of femininity. What feminine characteristics do you value? How do you want to express your femininity?
For some femininity means motherhood and sensuality, for others it is about standing up for yourself, finding your own path, and rebelling against the system.
There are as many different expressions of femininity as there are women in the world, so find the ones that feel comfortable for you.
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2. Don't chase "feminine ideals"
Don’t chase ideals of femininity that don’t feel authentic to you. So many women feel like they need to behave and act a certain way in order to be “feminine enough”, and that is simply not true!
Get inspired by what you see on the Internet about femininity. But always ask yourself at the end: does this feel authentic to me?
3. Find your own style
Always do what feels authentic, instead of following “traditional” feminine rules. Experiment with different styles and looks until you find what feels best.
For some women femininity is just pink and heels, for others, it’s being fully covered. Go with whatever you feel in the moment. Sometimes is a girly dress, sometimes it’s jeans and a t-shirt.
The same goes for activities and hobbies. You don’t have to follow traditional feminine hobbies, to be feminine.
4. Ditch the idea of "not being feminine enough"
True femininity is about inclusion, understanding, and compassion with yourself. There is nothing as “not enough”.
When you are tapping into your true feminine when you are accepting yourself fully. Loving who you are right now, without shaming yourself.
5. Reclaim the dark feminine
There is a misconception that femininity is all light and positive. It’s the image most feminine gurus give you.
However, there is also a dark side to femininity which includes chaos, anger, and destruction, pain, and loss. Embrace the dark feminine and allow yourself to feel all of your emotions. This is an important part of the journey to embracing your femininity.
You can do this by looking more into shadow work, reflective journaling or even trying out therapy. There are many journaling prompts and meditations you can find on the internet to start with. I personally used journaling prompts and guided meditations specifically dedicated to healing feminine energy, which you can find here: the unlock feminine energy program.
6. Confidence is key
Confidence is the key to being comfortable in your femininity.
The real feminine journey should naturally lead you to more confidence, self-love, and self-respect. If it doesn’t, you might be doing something wrong.
What does it mean to be comfortable with your femininity?
To be comfortable with your femininity means:
- You live according to your own definition of femininity
- You express femininity in your own unique way
- You get inspired by other women, but always stay true to yourself
- You don’t bother to follow traditional feminine “rules”
- You accept yourself in all phases of your journey
- You embrace all aspects of the feminine, light and dark
- You are becoming more confident every day
If you start seeing femininity as your own unique journey you will feel comfortable with it in no time.
The feminine journey is about growing into a more confident woman every day, and becoming comfortable with your own feminine essence.
Becoming feminine should always feel like becoming more of yourself, like rediscovering something you have lost.
It should feel like freedom and not rules.
If you are interested in finding the right healthy balance between your feminine and masculine energy, I recommend you read my next article How To Balance Feminine And Masculine Energy.
“For the first time ever, I feel like I understand my femininity. I’d already begun seeing breakthroughs and improvements in my relationships. This program has been a true gift.”