today I want to talk about how to get through hard times.
It’s immensely important to guide yourself with compassion and self-love.
You want to avoid any negative downward spirals that make the situation feel even more helpless.
So now, more than ever, it is important to learn that you can rely on yourself 100 %.
These 5 next steps will help you to gain a sense of control.
Check your beliefs
Beliefs are the repetitive thoughts that are running through your mind without you even noticing.
The danger of beliefs is that you are so used to them that you never question them.
You believe they are true.
So what you want to do is to check up on your beliefs and adjust them, so they support you instead of hurting you.
Negative beliefs that might be hurting you the most when you are going through shitty times are those that tell you that your problem is permanent, pervasive, or personal.
Examples of such negative beliefs would be:
“Things will never get better.”
”I will never find love again.”
”Everything is lost.”
“My whole life is destroyed.”
“There is something wrong with me.”
“I am a bad person.”
These beliefs have the power to lock you down in a state of helplessness and they make things feel so much worse.
So now, more than ever, it is important for you to question those beliefs.
You have the power to actively choose the ones that will support you.
Examples of such beliefs are:
“The past doesn’t equal the future.”
“This, too, shall pass.”
“I will always find a way.”
“Everything is resolvable.”
Adapting a more supportive beliefs system is a way how to get through hard times and avoid spiraling down.
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Ask for help right away
You shouldn’t spend any time deciding whether you should ask for getting help or not.
When you are thinking about getting help, that’s already a big enough sign to get it.
These are some of the forms of help I ask for all the time:
🔸 Therapy session
It’s really helpful to talk to someone from the outside who can offer you professional advice. These days you don’t even have to book an in-person session. Book an online call with a psychologist as soon as possible.
🔸 Books and other resources
No matter what you are going through, I bet there is a book about it.
Your problems are not unique and you have to take the advantage of learning from people who successfully got through.
So whether it is divorce, break up, abusive relationship, health problems, eating disorder, loss of a loved one, money problems…
Find articles, books, videos, podcasts on the topic.
🔸 Family and friends
I go to close people for emotional support. I appreciate their presence, to have someone to just spend a day with. Doing normal daily things in a presence of someone whom you can trust is a very helpful way how to get through hard times.
I don’t necessarily expect advice, because usually, these people are in the same limiting patterns as I am or they do not understand my situation.
Outsource advice to books and professional help.
Allow yourself to grieve
You don’t want to indulge in negative emotions, but you also don’t want to push them away.
The idea is to give yourself a dedicated time and space to grieve. To fully feel what you have lost.
Have that time when you can completely surrender and cry if you need to.
The only way how to get through hard times is to let the emotions go through you.
Learn from the contrast
All life situations are learning experiences.
Experiences that will help you realize what is it that you actually do want.
Based on a failed relationship, you now know what you want from love for the future.
Based on losing your job, you now know you never want to depend on an employer ever again.
The point of all those life experiences is to learn from the contrast.
So think: What can I learn from this? What do I now know based on this experience? What do I want for my future?
And that’s exactly where you will find yourself in the next years.
Strengthen the relationship with yourself
Offer yourself unconditional support, guidance, and love.
Say: “I promise to take care of you, I promise to fulfill all your needs, I promise to guide you and protect you. This is temporary and I will find a way for us.”
Maybe you now feel completely alone, lost, and overwhelmed.
All you have is you.
But that’s all you need right now.
You are in good hands.
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